It's 4:45 a.m. I should be sleeping. As usual, I'm not. It's not that I'm not tired. I just answered a page that made my brain have to wake up and work pretty hard and now it's not wanting to settle back down. The house is so still, except for the elusive chirping of the one fire sensor somewhere.. ?upstairs? that must need a new 9 volt battery.
There are some moments in life that are so ... profound. For me, personally, there have been three above all others: the moments of giving birth to my own children. Looking back from the perspective of 50 years, that is so clear to me. So that when I am about to help a woman through the amazing process of giving birth, the energy flows between me and her like a conduit connecting our eyes, our voices, our minds.. our hearts. There are a few things, seemingly small in the moment, that I try to convey each time. The last time she will hear that heartbeat through a monitor, instead of by pressing her ear to that soft, soft skin. The absolute magic and perfection of the moment of delivering a child -- the fact that it WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF HER LIFE. I try to make a warm, intimate space for the family. Lights low. TV off. No background chatter between the nurses. Just quiet, intense focus on the miracle at hand.
Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe IN. HOLD THAT POWER IN. USE IT. Work with the force your body is already producing, everything aligned. Give your body and your mind over to the process, ride the wave up, then down. REST. Let every single muscle lay flat, relax every finger and toe, close your eyes. The in-between time is to rest, for you and your baby. Rest for the work ahead. Little bursts of work, so much work .. and then the rest. You're moving him, you ARE! I can see more and more of his head when you push. PUSH, Sweetie, you are doing an AMAZING job! Keep-going-keep-going-keep-going-keep-going .. don't let him sneak back up there. Do you want to touch his head? Here, you can TOUCH him!!! He's sooooooooo close. The next one will be THE ONE. Rest. Wait for it. Work with your body. Here it comes, it's starting. Let it build. Ok, now ... breathe in, breathe out. Breath IN. Hold that power in. Use it. PUSH!! Here he comes!
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